You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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