There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
