Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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