You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
