The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
