And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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