Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize