What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
