I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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