She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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