I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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