her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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