She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
