Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
