Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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