is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
