was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
