Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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