God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
