I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
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So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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