so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you never un-have a 4some
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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