there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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