Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
