She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
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I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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