Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
