literally had 100 drinks last night.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
