im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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