I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
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