Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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