So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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