How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
