Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
