a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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