using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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