Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
