I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I need water and some morals
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
