Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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