ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Small penises have feelings too.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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