We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
