Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
