I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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