well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
