If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
