He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
