1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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