remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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