omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
