She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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