apparently the secret to your success is patron
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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