How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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