Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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