11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
