So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
