If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
