Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
