So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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