He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
